In June 2004 my family (excluding Beth) and I went to Korea on a tour organized by my adoption agency Eastern Social Welfare Society. We spent 14 days in Seoul and Busan doing touristy activities, but also stayed at the agency headquarters in Hongdae, received a partial read-through of my adoption file, met foster parents, held babies, did the host family thing, met adoptive Korean families, met social workers, toured a huge high school, etc etc etc and some people met their biological parents ( I didn't).
♥♥ We also traveled to Pyeong-taek (my hometown woot woot) to visit ESWS's facilities for older/permanent orphans, mentally and physically disabled, and birth mother shelter (Esther's Home). That was the roughest day for everyone. Meeting the birth mothers and orphaned children was a slap back to reality for us. I don't have any pictures of the birth mothers, for obvious reasons, but I guess I'm allowed to post pictures of the orphans we met.
Most of the children here were older or there were legal issues that prevented them from being adopted overseas. I will discuss the delicacies of adoption in Korea later, but basically, Korean policy DOES NOT favor orphans or the birth mothers. Illegitimate children and their mothers are some of the lowest of the low in Korean culture; "bastard" doesn't even describe the shame associated with being a fatherless child and who knows what the unwed mothers are called. It's not surprising that many of the women who come to ESWS do so in secrecy; some of them even run away from home or are disowned. Most of these children will remain at ESWS until they are adults. They will then be dropped into a society that still emphasizes paternal bloodlines and viewed as second-class citizens who are mostly prevented from obtaining higher education, reasonably paid jobs, and respect.
Some of the mentally disabled teenagers and adults in a work room. As I recall, many of them were also abandoned or had no where to go, so they can work at ESWS as janitors, cooks, and they also do specialized crafts that are sold at local markets.
This New York Times article shows that Koreans are making progress and their government is "trying" to help progress. We were fortunate enough to meet adoptive Korean families during the tour, and their stories were both beautiful and vexing. I don't know how much has changed in 4 years, but the difficulties these families experienced were unimaginable. One father told us that when he had a falling out with many of his friends and acquaintances after announcing their plans to adopt. As described in the article, many adoptive families choose to hide their child's origins in fear of the discrimination upheld by conservative Korean culture. Those who "reveal" themselves are very brave indeed!
I would compare the government's strategy of introducing laws that essentially resemble a quota system for reducing international adoption to the English stiff upper lip, except the Korean government seems to have mastered its capacity for compassion. Lowering standards for Korean adoptive parents and increasing difficulties for more than qualified foreign families is hilariously despicable. As one of the 230,635 adopted Koreans (a huge number tossed in the article), [edited out]. Besides my unlady-like manners, I don't consider myself a low-life failure because I was born an illegitimate child and adopted by white American parents.
Sometimes I really miss being 16. Ah yes, 16, the dawn of jail baiting. Back then I believed I was a very important person and destined to become even more important that I already was and make my mark and whatever...I'm sure all "older" people feel this way. 16 was my golden age of optimism and the world was to be mine. After its passing I became a burned out, mildly depressing, Land's End stretchy pant-wearing, chronic Harry Potter fan fiction reading (not writing, I'm not that creative), canned olive eating twenty something. I am still lamenting the end of Harry Potter and my tanned skin...I WEAR SUNSCREEN ALMOST EVERYDAY and WHY DID SNAPE HAVE TO DIE?! The fat, acne, burned out stuff also isn't my fault--I blame it on college. But more than being young, narcissistic, and ambitious, I associate 16 with my first visit to Korea.
Those 2 weeks in 2004 were the most illuminating of my life (so far). Thanks to that tour, I gained a new view of adoption and the problems Korea faced/faces with adoption. Even better, I got to spend time con mi familia and met other Korean adoptees and their families. I still (kind of) keep in touch with some of the people we met (Caitlin does a better job). So if you can, go on a tour organized by an adoption agency.
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